Hey. Welcome. Just hang your coat up there. Leave your shoes at the door. Make yourself comfortable. How about a drink, maybe a cigar? Please, don’t mind the dog; he’s harmless. Feel free to observe my exotic fish tank.
Okay that’s how I’d greet someone if I had my own house and enough money for stuff. For now though, feel free to browse at your leisure.
Here. This bird looks like a grumpy old man in a badly knitted jumper. It’s probably dead by now.